omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize