no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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