I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
