i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
