what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
