I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
