I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
