I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
