How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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