Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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