If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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