There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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