I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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