Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
