Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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