was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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