tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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