He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
