Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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