If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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