I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
