I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
