hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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