normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
