I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You ruined the universe
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
