tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
barbara walters just said penis...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
