are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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