There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
