Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The best revenge is premature balding
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
