and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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