He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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