If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
