he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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