I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize