I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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