He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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