NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
