So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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