do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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