I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
