Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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