Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
