I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
