I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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