Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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