I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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