I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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