The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
