You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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