I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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