She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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