ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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