Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
