If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
