well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
