Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
