Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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