her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
