He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
