He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
