We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
