he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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