dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Randomize
