The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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