is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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