Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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