you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
that may or may not have been my penis.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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